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Worst Things About The 80's!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 6:13 am
by djcraig
First off, thanks for letting me vent. This is a great catharsis- very good for the soul. And much cheaper than therapy.

[b]Worst Things About The 80's!:


Mullets. [/b]

With apologies to those of you in the Deep South and Riverside, CA where these are still considered the latest style.


[b]Gloria Estefan.[/b]

"Come on everybody, do The Conga!" If you find yourself at a party doing "The Conga", give your car keys to someone else. You've had enough to drink.


[b]Acid Wash Jeans. [/b]

I can honestly say I never owned a pair. My closet was too full of other embarrassing 80's fashion mistakes. Like muscle pants.


[b]Hair Metal.[/b]

They took New Wave's proclivity to "Style Over Substance" to new heights. Probably the reason spandex is still popular with so many people at the gym who have no business wearing it.


[b]Michael Bolton.[/b]

King Of The Mullets... and the kind of bombastic shrieking that even made Whitney look like she was just phoning it in.


[b]T-shirts with Dress Jackets.[/b]

Sleeves rolled up, of course. Bonus points for suspenders.


[b]Kenny G.[/b]

That insidious fluglehorn or whatever the f**k it was. If bad music was a crime, Kenny would be on death row.


[b]Loverboy. [/b]

The reason why Canadians should be forced to prove they have real jobs before crossing the border.


Ahh... That feels better.

Who's next?

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:48 am
by tiger_mn
Adam Curry.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:54 am
by Randall Roq
Richard Marx

ANYONE with the last name Feldman

The Brat Pack

Johnny Hates Jazz

The Breakfast Club (the group)

Madonna (she's a great trans-decade hate)

Guys with collars flipped up!!!!!!!

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:46 pm
by ExRat
[quote]Originally posted by djcraig
[br]

Mullets.

With apologies to those of you in the Deep South and Riverside, CA where these are still considered the latest style.

[/quote]

You forgot that the mullet is still the official male haircut of much of New Jersey.

Also:

The rise of synchronized dancing in music videos

The debut of "Full House"

The national obsession with freakish looking orphans (Gary Coleman, Punky Brewster, Webster, Cabbage Patch Kids)

Styx

Air Supply

Christopher Cross

Ronald Reagan

"Just Say No"

Mall hair

MALLS

USA For Africa's "We Are the World" as a pitiful response to Band Aid's fantastic "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

Yuppies

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:20 pm
by 2Nu
Richard Simmons
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 2:00 pm
by plagiarism
<Shudder.> If you don't stop that, I'll go blind.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:32 pm
by djcraig
Oh and one more...

[b]"Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy. [/b]

That lame song marks the point where his career began it's irreversible slide. You cannot be a comedian and a singer. The gods will not allow it.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:35 am
by Randall Roq
[quote][i]Originally posted by ExRat[/i]


The rise of synchronized dancing in music videos


Air Supply



[/quote]

Yes!!! Synchronized dancing!! Great choice!

I had to laugh at the Air Supply - one of the former members is our computer tech guy!!

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 12:28 pm
by Moparmark
Let me add all those shitty sequel movies Police Acadamy,Friday the 13th,Death Wish etc.And Wham don,t forget Wham.Hey whats wrong with Loverboy?

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 1:50 pm
by Ape Module
It's not the surname Feldman we have to fear from the 80s, but the FIRST name Cory (or Corey if you like.)

Cory Feldman (double threat there)
Cory Hames
Corey Hart

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:25 pm
by djcraig
[quote][i]Originally posted by Moparmark[/i]
<br>Let me add all those shitty sequel movies Police Acadamy,Friday the 13th,Death Wish etc.And Wham don,t forget Wham.Hey whats wrong with Loverboy?


[/quote]

How can you rank on Wham! and then, in the next sentence pretend Loverboy doesn't suck just as bad? It's like bagging on the Hokey Pokey and then requesting The Chicken Dance.

Since you asked, here is what's wrong with Loverboy:

1. Headbands

Like legwarmers for your brain. Now matter how hard you rock, headbands will never be cool. I can just imagine Ozzie singing "Iron Man" with a bright red one on.


2. Inane Lyrics-

"Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go"

God, if only The Beatles could have come up with that.

Personally I think Wham! has the edge over Loverboy here...


3. Red Leather Pants

You have to be very tough, very gay or Eddie Murphy to make those work. If you are wearing them and are not a pimp or one of the aforementioned, you are seriously compensating for something.


4. They represented all that was wrong with late 70's mainstream rock.

While some great alternative music was being made, mainstream radio was stuck on stupid. I had to hear Loverboy when I could have been listening to The Ramones. It traumatized me and I will never forget it.


5. They're Canadian

By definition they are fodder for Americans to pick on. I think it's in the Constitution somewhere.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 3:32 pm
by Randall Roq
[quote][i]Originally posted by Ape Module[/i]
<br>It's not the surname Feldman we have to fear from the 80s, but the FIRST name Cory (or Corey if you like.)

Cory Feldman (double threat there)
Cory Hames
Corey Hart
[/quote]

Of course!! I stand corrected!!

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 6:38 pm
by Frau_Blucher
[quote][i]Originally posted by djcraig[/i]
<br>How can you rank on Wham! and then, in the next sentence pretend Loverboy doesn't suck just as bad? It's like bagging on the Hokey Pokey and then requesting The Chicken Dance.
[/quote]
Brilliant!


I'll go with AIDS. It was also probably Austin Powers' rudest awakening: "As long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I'll be sound as a pound!"

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 7:25 pm
by i_like_lectric_motors
[quote][i]Originally posted by djcraig[/i]


Since you asked, here is what's wrong with Loverboy:

2. Inane Lyrics-

"Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go"

God, if only The Beatles could have come up with that.

Personally I think Wham! has the edge over Loverboy here...

[/quote]

OK, Loverboy definitely sucks but there is no way you can say these lyrics are worse than the majority of those by The Beatles.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:43 pm
by 2Nu
Ok, Ok Motors, I'll grant you 'Obla-Di Obla-Da' doesn't have nearly as much lyrical substance and import as 'Hot Girls In Love'[;)]

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