Census: This Just In.

[phillyidol]

The Census Bureau just said that 1/3 of all american children are growing up in a single parent family. Nothing against single parents but most are not that way by choice. Most are single women that got pregnant and had the man run out on them. I'm not pointing fingers at any one group, I'll just point and wistle....wistle wistle wistle.
I think that for most cases, when you have a single mom, and her mom raising boys without a man involved, you are not only going to get a troubled kid, but you will also just keep the pattern going. It just sucks.

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[KYYX4ever]

geez marv, that IS weird !
And you know, I pretty much agree with you. Although there are MANY single parents out there, raising kids alone and doing a darn fine job of it, I tend to agree that kids are best raised by TWO parents. TWO adults who are loving and committed, even if they are the same sex. It's tough being a kid--they need all the parental support they can get. Statistics showing various problems for kids raised by single parents are disturbing. We owe it to our kids out there to give them all the support and love that they need.

[empyrean]

So the Philippines isnt alone. [:D]


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[edisonoside]

A Mother AND Father is best for most because it's better balanced.

[MARV]

Right. As they go through life, they're going to have to deal with both men and women and with a role model of each gender (doing a good job of it in the house), children are better prepared for life. Humans are social animals. Why start a kid out with a one sided outlook? Face it: we live in a gender based world. There are just things a man goes through that a woman could never explain to a child and vice versa. And it doesn't matter if you're single parenting a child of your own gender. Kids need to identify with opposite sex role models as well. They need to see how opposite sex adults interact also.

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[scramjet]

[quote][i]Originally posted by marvymarv[/i]
<br>I knew a girl years ago who went all the way to Spain with the intent of getting pregnant by a man that would be "too far away to want to get involved or even find out about the pregnancy". She just wanted to be a single mom.
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[/quote]

Don't they have Nobel Prize Winner and Olympic Gold Medalist sperm banks aimed at filling that market niche?

[KYYX4ever]

well marv, I can't really argue with you. I am not a parent, and never will be. On the other hand, based on what I know about you, I bet you are an awesome dad to your kids![:)]

My (small) point was just that I believe that a kid does best being raised by two parents, and I don't think it matters if they're the same sex or not. Two loving, stable adults at home best serves the kid's needs. The kid will still have wonderful "role models" to see how adults should interact with each other. They'll have plenty of opportunities to see how opposite genders interact at school, in the world around them, and in life. True, loving hetero parents give a kid their best base, but nothing wrong with same-sex parents who can also provide a loving home base. (Esp. based on some of the horror stories we hear out there about some so-called "homes". Like have you guys read about that poor 4-yr. old girl who died from an extreme overdose of all the psychistric drugs her parents were force-feeding her, to keep her quiet and sleepy?[xx(]).) Two stable adults as parents=good.

[Frau_Blucher]

I think both Marv and KYYX are way off base. In my mind, kids are best raised by THREE parents, preferably two very hot bisexual women plus a 40-something schlub.

Having said that, this discussion is pretty academic, as I'm sure you realize. It's very hard for people to make these choices - they're usually made for them, and parents and kids just adapt, often well enough if not in the ideal. It's not an ideal world in many worse ways than having 1 parent or 2. I guess I'm kinda saying "Duh, what's your point?" in a nice way. [:I]

[WolverineSyr]

Let's be honest. Having two parents in the home does not ensure it's going to be stable and that kids are going to have great gender-based role models. I hate to think of parents who stay together "for the sake of the children" and what damage that does to those kid's outlook on relationships. That's not even considering the other crap like abuse, violence, alcoholism, etc. Many, many people are not cut out to be parents, but many people do not have a choice.

You can't force couples to stay together, and clearly, we can't make people become good parents. In my opinion it is far better for a kid to grow up in a single parent household if one of the parents is not willing or able to be a good parent.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm hot under the collar about this - but there is a huge push with Federal Money to support the "healthy marriage initiative." It's insinuated itself into so many human service programs for the past few years & it's utter bullshit. It dictates that people need to get married & that will solve any of their problems - suddenly make them good parents & get them off welfare, or whatever. That's just great - the thought of two 17 year olds getting married & becoming good parents? That's laughable & short-sighted. Let's not mention the huge numbers of idiots out there who should not or aren't capable of maintaining a relationship. Somehow, I don't see marriage as a magic umbrella that's going to make everything better.

I don't like the fact that there are so many crappy parents, single and together. I think if we expanded contraception & actually educated kids & adults on what it means to be a parent would be a better way to spend our money. The sad truth is - it's a fact of life now, like it or not. There have been many times that I want to push clients out the window who are pregnant again, have 3 kids, can't support them and don't seem to understand what the issue is.
But, I can't dictate to them what they should do. Not everyone can make a choice, not everyone has my privilege in life, and not everyone has the capacity to make good choices.

[birdmadgirl]

I was a single parent for 4 years, and I do have to say, having a partner makes ME a better parent. It's hard raising kids and I never want to have to go it alone again. When I'm sick/tired/fed up/whatever, the Mr. is there to pick up the slack and vice versa. And if we're both sick/tired/fed up at the same time, well, the kids just run wild while naked.

I do agree two parents are the ideal situation, whether those parents are different sex, same sex, aliens, whatever. But I also believe that one good parent makes up for two crappy ones.

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[MARV]

[quote][i]Originally posted by scramjet[/i]
<br>Don't they have Nobel Prize Winner and Olympic Gold Medalist sperm banks aimed at filling that market niche?[/quote]

This gal was fixated on having the father be Castilian. Whatever.....

[quote][i]Originally posted by KYYX4ever[/i]
<br>.....based on what I know about you, I bet you are an awesome dad to your kids![:)][/quote]

I must warn you KYXXie, flattery will get you everywhere with me [:p]

[quote]My (small) point was just that...I don't think it matters if they're the same sex or not....based on some of the horror stories we hear out there about some so-called "homes"...Two stable adults as parents=good.[/quote]

You're not wrong there. I'd take two gay parents who have their acts together over two straight parents who are a mess any day.

[quote][i]Originally posted by Blir[/i]
<br>I think both Marv and KYYX are way off base. In my mind, kids are best raised by THREE parents, preferably two very hot bisexual women plus a 40-something schlub.[/quote]

Or a harem of hotties headed by an upper thirties music enthusiast [8D]

[quote]Having said that, this discussion is pretty academic...I guess I'm kinda saying "Duh, what's your point?" in a nice way. [:I][/quote]

Yeah, just a little intellectual posterbation, that's all Blir. Just putting some lines out there to see what I'll catch. Slow day today [;)]

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[MARV]

Well, we all seem to agree on this. Can someone start a good political thread now? A religious thread? Where's Jimbo when you need him? Hutter?

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[birdmadgirl]

[quote][i]Originally posted by WolverineSyr[/i]
I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm hot under the collar about this - but there is a huge push with Federal Money to support the "healthy marriage initiative." It's insinuated itself into so many human service programs for the past few years & it's utter bullshit. [/quote]

Yes, it is complete b.s. Had someone conned me into getting married at 18, it would have been a complete trainwreck. Much better for my son to have been raised by single, happy me than by miserable, bitter and, eventually, divorced me. Much better that he see his dad on weekends when we could tolerate each other and play nice than have his heart ripped out when dad finally get fed up and left.

I don't get the thinking behind this "healthy marriage initiative." It's a recipe for disaster, taking two people and more or less pushing them to get married, especially people who (for lack of a better term) are sort of on the fringes of society anyway. They don't have a very good chance of making it on their own to begin with. Get them all married up and then they'll really have issues because marriage is a huge freaking chore.

Sorry to go off. I worked in health and human services in Texas several years ago and I thought this was a crock then, too.

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[KYYX4ever]

[quote][i]Originally posted by marvymarv[/i]
<br>Yeah, just a little intellectual posterbation, that's all Blir. [/quote]

"posterbation".....heh, that's awesome ![:D]

[MARV]

I just view it as sport, really [:0] [;)]

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