Your Insane Ex- whatever

[phillyidol]

We have all had them. I have had more than most. Tell a story about a crazy ex girl or boyfriend that you had. My first? I had one we called fatal attraction. She changed the way she dressed, wore dark glasses and passed by my apartment every day. One day I finally went outside and she acted all suprised and said it was a quick way home to pass down my block. Too bad she lived and worked on the other side of town. She showed up to every club I went to, she started calling my friends...it was pretty weird. How about you guys? (I have alot more)
Oh, Motors, you don't need to reply......for obvious reasons.[:D]

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[scramjet]

Soon after I met the gal who's now Mrs. scramjet I dumped a girl I'd been dating fairly seriously. She kept calling & stopping by my office and apartment long afterward. She stopped coming by after me and now-Mrs.-scramjet got engaged and I thought that would be the end of her. After not hearing from her for a couple of months she came by again, this time with a wedding present. It was a quilt she had made. Sounds nice except that she went out of her way to point out that the quilt was single bed sized and only one one person could lay under it at a time. She got this really chagrined look on her face when I pointed out that two people would fit under the quilt quite cozily if they were laying very close together. The quilt was donated to "Blankets for Bosnia" or some such charity in very short order.

[phillyidol]

Your lucky it wasn't made from human hair or something. There is NO WAY I would have ever kept that blanket! Smart move.

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[oneno]

The "bad wife" had two kids from a prior marriage that were supposedly sexualy molested by their biological father and I adopted them soon after marriage.
Due to supposed guilt, the "bad wife" let her kids run the house.
When I set up rules and started enforcing them, the 13 year old girl didn't like it.
The "bad wife" started coming home late from work while I was coaching both of the girls ASA softbal teams and working 60 plus hours a week.
The 13 year old got arrested for stealing our car amongst other things and the "bad wife" kept all of this from me.
I overheard the 13 yr old making plans on the phone about feigning an illness so she could skip her softball game and have her boyfriend come by, so when the fake symptoms came into play a couple hours before the game, the "bad wife" supported her even though I overheard the plans.
The kid had a cam-corder set-up out in a common area just outside her bedroom by recommendation of a counselor for her to use for a video diary, before I left for the game I pushed record to catch her "not being ill", but an hour into the game the "bad wife" got a call and said the kid wasn't feeling too well and she needed to go attend her. huh? I knew she wasn't sick to begin with so for the "bad wife to get a call about her turning for the worse didn't set to well with me.
After I finished coaching the youngests game and when we went home and upon my aproach to the house lo' and behold the cops were there? When I pulled up officer friendly came up to my door and asked if I was the one who was recording with the cam-corder and when I exclaimed "yes" and tried to explain the situation he just cut me off and said "save it for the judge" and arrested me for child pornography.
From my understanding the kid undressed in front of the camera and called the cops stating I taped her. Even though I wasn't in the same city when it happened and the kid later even admitted she just wanted to get me in trouble I was set to go to trial and face 27 years.
Soon after the "bad wife" went on a spending spree and emptied our bank account The "bad wife" had her boyfriend move in two weeks after the initial incident.
So within a month I lost my house my wife, kids, filing bankruptcy and was going to go to prison woo-hoo. Since I was now broke I had to have a public defender issued to me and I was always under the guise that it was such an easy case to prove I wasn't too worried. Well my public defender on his own took a plea bargain for 6 mos. w/work release and weekends off as everyone knew I wasn't guilty but he thought it best to avoid a trial and that way I would avoid media attention then after I finished my time I could get it exsponged. What a sell out A hole.
So guess what? During my time incarceration, I had to pay child support for both kids and when I got out I had to continue paying till the youngest turned 18. and the really cool thing is that I got to be placed on the local and national sex offender data base! Alot of good came from this though. I found Christ, met and married Mrs.Oneno (the "good wife") and learned alot of needed lifes lessons.
Later the "good wife" got our attorney and her to review the tape as I never had the opportunity to see it and they discovered all that was on the tape was the hallway quick blur then the the kids bed another quick blur then the kid looking snotty standing nude next to her bed then someone off camera handing her underwear then a quick blur and then back to the hallway again!
Does that fit the category of "crazy ex".
So maybe now people will understand why I avoid some hot button issues as to people called "child mollesters" and those who are placed on the SOR.
Oh and HARPO Ent. called me up shortly after as they caught wind of my plight but I turned them down.

I'm jes sayin'
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[phillyidol]

In the imortal words of the south park kids..."holy crap dude!"

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[hutter]

Well, that beats my story. Sorry you had to go through all that, oneno. I hope things are much better now.

[phillyidol]

I had another one come after me in a bar. I was pretty popular there and there were alot of police that drank there too. Well one cop friend came up to me and said do you know that girl. I'm like what girl. He said that charging rino headed this way. Then he shoves his gun in my pants and says here your gunna need this. Well everyone in the bar starts roaring with laughter as she screams at me. The cops are yelling watch out he's packing heat. After her rant I just told her to hit the bricks but it was pretty funny. Ah good times...good times.

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[KYYX4ever]

Holy crap, oneno, that's an awful story. Sorry you had to go through all that. I don't understand why some people get all mean and nasty like that, just to prove what point ?

[phillyidol]

There is no figuring them out. They are nuts. Each one of us has had one and if you did not, you are lucky. I had more than one. Some people just do not handle rejection well.

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[hexicon]

Hi oneno, what an awful thing to happen. I'm glad that things are going so much better in your life.

I'll try to summarize one long story. After college, all my friends and I stopped drinking (and drugging in some cases) and got on with our lives, except my college BF. I wound up dumping him right after I started law school, but we occcasionally kept in touch, mostly when he was trying the "make amends" part of the various 12-step programs he flunked out of. He went nuts with the coke and wound up in grad school at the University of Florida.

Right when M. started grad school, the so-called Gainesville Ripper murdered half a dozen or so UF students in horrible ways (decapitation, etc.). I always joked that M. did the deed because supposedly all the women murdered were petite and slender with long straight dark hair (like me).

Flash forward a couple of years. Unbeknownst to me, M had begun supporting his drug habit with bank robberies, first in FLA and then back here in the PNW. So, I've finished school and have just started at a prestigious law firm when the receptionist pages me "Ms. Hexicon, the FBI is on the line."

The FBI is interviewing M's friends since he's now a suspect in the bank robberies, which are escalating. The agent asked me if there was anything else I wanted to tell him about M., so I mentioned the Gainesville Ripper. He said, "Well, ma'am, you're not the first person to make that connection."

Later, I found out that M. was seriously under suspicion in the Gainesville murders because the actual murderer was also a bankrobber. M was caught and served about five years. AFAIK he's delivering pizzas in Seattle today.

My other crazy ex story is one that only lawyers will appreciate: After the first Mr. Hex and I divorced, he quit his high-paying law job and decided he wanted to be a minister (he didn't set foot in a church the entire time we were married), not just in the ordinary Protestant denomination to which he nominally belonged but in a holy-roller, speaking-in-tongues church. Then, after he was not admitted to seminary, he got a job as a law professor . . . teaching civil procedure. The man was born to teach civil procedure and I do say that in the nicest possible way.[}:)]

[SomebodySomewhere]

oneno, I'm amazed you stuck with women after all of that. I turned for a [i]lot[/i] less, let me tell you.

Yeah, I don't think the personality-disordered loon I wasted the better part of 2 years of my life on can quite compete with that charming ode to marriage -- mostly because she was never successful in trying to get me arrested. I'm guessing the pigs didn't quite buy that I beat her up when she didn't have a mark on her and I had an imprint of a phone cord around my neck.


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[Max Murdoc]

This is a long one so pull up a comfy chair. Using "oneno's" verbage....when "bad wife" and I started dating each other I got to know her family....good Baptist folk. No need to think that anything was out of order. Everything looked good. We fell in love and got hitched after dating for about a year and a half. First child was born. Started noticing "bad wifes" strange behavior...second child comes along and I find out from her brother that her whole family is f***ed up.

"Bad wife" was molested by 2 of her brothers as she was growing up, Father was an heavy drinker who found the Lord and beat the wife and kids. "Bad wife" tried to burn the family house down as a child because she was punished. Doused kitchen with gasoline and threw a match in while whole family was sleeping. "Bad wife" was married once (never told me about it) and was caught in bed with a co-worker by then husband. Her "church" brought this cheating to the entire congregation's attention using names, dates and location of affair.

After second child was born and I found out about all of this and convinced "bad wife" to seek professional help. After 10 months of twice a week therapy, I got a call from the counselor asking if I would sit in on a session. I did with no hesitation. When we got there the counselor said the the once a week sessions where coming along fine. "Once a week?" I replied....I thought it was twice a week. Turns out "bad wife" was sleeping with a co-worker of mine. "bad wife" apologized when I threatened divorce and said that she wouldn't do it again. I gave her a second chance. I caught her again in a trail of lies and unusual behavior:

1. Robbed at gunpoint in a parking lot. Only thing missing was rent money out of her purse when it was found. Police didn't believe her story.
2. Went on a holiday with her best friend with money she had been saving (yeah, right...was rent money that was stolen) and came back with photo's where it was painfully obvious that the blanket on the beach was large enough for 4 people (including indentations in sand) when there should have been only her and her best friend.
3. Tried to set our house on fire when I refused to let her go on another holiday with her "best friend". (didn't catch).
4. On numerous ocassions she tried to get me to hit her so she could have me arrested (I don't hit women).
5. Slept with 4 more of my co-workers (I found this out after I had got a new job).

I suggested that we have a trial seperation to see if things could be worked out between us. She actually loved the idea and set about having me removed from house. I told her that I wasn't the one going. It had to be her. She found that this was an even better idea since I would have the kids ( no kids = more men to sleep over). I immediately withdrew the seperation idea to concentrate on trying to save our marriage.

One Friday night I found "bad wife" packing her bags and I asked her where she was going. "Bad wife" said that it was none of my business and that she would be back Monday morning. I told "bad wife" that if she left, she would never step one foot back in this house so she left. After she left I immediately packed up the rest of her personal belongings and put them in the garage. Monday morning she came back and I told "bad wife" that she no longer lived here.

She filed for divorce with an address in the next county which was revoked due to the fact that she hadn't lived there long enough so I filed and the divorce started.

Divorce hearings start and I am branded as a drug abuser that spent my entire 401K money on pot. Court ordered me to show evidence of where money went. I told them it was used to run household until I found a better paying job since I had temporary custody of kids and was living on half of income because "bad wife" refused to contribute. "Bad wife" stated that she had no ATM card and had no access to money when we were married so I was the one that spent all of the money. "Bad wife" forgot that one of my best friends was in a management position at the bank where we kept our money so when I said that "Mark" would back me up with camera images from the ATM machines she withdrew her statement.

Final divorce trail comes up and Judge asks "bad wife" why she can't find any paperwork from "bad wife" about getting custody of children. "Bad wife" says that she can't afford to take care of children on her income. Judge asks if "bad wife" was willing to leave her children in the custody of a "drug abuser"..."bad wife" shut's up and sits down. Divorce over, I get full custody and child support.

I am the proud Father of a 21 year old son (who has his own sense of style...just like his old man back in the day) who is almost through with his associates degree in computer technology and an 18 year old daughter (beautiful young lady) currently working as a waitress to save money to go to college as a Sonogram Technician. "Bad wife" owes me $20,000.00 in back child support and currently lives in a one room apartment above a bar and works as an official greeter at the local Wal Mart.

After the divorce, I went through 2 relationships but found that I have a difficult time trusting females. I gave up on finding a significant other about 5 years ago. It's lonely but as of right now, the kids are still here so it's not so bad....not quite sure about what I going to do when they are gone. It's a shame. I'm reasonably intelligent, pretty fit for a 45 year old guy and just about the nicest guy you'd ever come across.

This whole ordeal with "bad wife" has left me thinking that I am not good enough for a woman to love. I just can't shake that off. I have it set in my head "who would want you?". I have asked people to not set me up with the "perfect" girl....their idea of the "perfect" girl for me, shows me what they really think of me. Below is a list of woman that my "friends" have tried to fix me up with.

1. 60 year old grandmother (seriously, do you think I have an oedipus complex?)
2. A 350lb. welfare mother of 5 (I can get one of those on my own thank you very much). (No offense to large women or welfare recipients)
3. A neurotic anorexic that chain smokes Pell Mells (I got enough problems of my own).
4. A woman whose voice is lower than mine who brags that she can benchpress a small foriegn vehicle (I have a Saturn, does that count?)
5. A woman with a body to die for (seriously, her body rocks!) but has no teeth to speak of and the intelligence of a titmouse.
6. A pretty average girl...looks, height, weight who thinks that orange juice is good for breakfast as long as it's diluted with vodka.
7. Another large woman at work who says that she is "waiting me out". She figures I'm going to cave in due to lack of sex and she want's to be there when I do. She actualy said this to me. The woman has a front butt....( a co-workers comment not mine. He also said that I would have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot...even I get ill thinking about that one).

You get the idea....I figure that I made it this far without a love...and I seem to be a functioning member of society.

Hey, thanks for listening. It really felt good to write this out. I feel so much better. Anyone got any flour?

The music you listen to is the soundtrack of your life.

[hutter]

Jeezus Christ...I love you guys. You make my incident with the cleaver weilding ex seem so normal in comparrison. Thank you.

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[Frau_Blucher]

Max, you rock for just gettin' along with getting along. Your son and daughter wouldn't be nothin' without you. Great job, best wishes.

But, what was wrong with lady #5? Sounds perfect! [:p][:o)]

[oneno]

Whoa-a-a Max, We need to start an intervention group or something.
I couldn't ask for a better life now. Max, things will happen when they are meant to, not one second sooner.
As a side note. My son with the "good wife" was just elected homecoming King, Man am I PROUD! and later I was looking through the local newspaper and saw that daughter#2 with the "bad wife" was just in town to start serving some time and to pay some fines for another DUI. Now today is the first meeting of a "Celebrate Recovery" ministrty that I'm helping with at Church....Funny how life is.

I'm jes sayin'
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