New Wave Outpost Forum

Where do they come up with all these useless statistics? Why are there statistics for 93% of everything reported on the news? I'm sure at least 96% of us hate how these moron news people spew garbage statistics to make their stories seem more credible.

I recently read that 80% of all men masturbate in the shower, while the other 20% sing. And do you know what song they sing?

No, neither do I...[:I]

"The Stroke" by Billy Squire

I can't sing. I'm too busy masturbating.

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I'm guessing half of what you said is inaccurate.
Does a drive through car wash count?

Top 5 favorite statistics I can think of right now:

85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear (likely applies to peeing or masturbating).

The number of businesses in the US that employ [i]someone[/i] is outstripped by ones that employ [i]no one[/i], ~800,000 vs. ~1,100,000. WTF? I'm guessing there's about 1.1 million business without workplace masturbation problems.

You got better odds from the mafia "running the numbers" than from current lotteries. You're also 16 times more likely to get killed in a car accident going to buy a lottery ticket than actually winning a big lottery. Deaths from masturbating in a car on the way to the lottery is unknown.

Of the 104 natural elements in the universe, 98 of them can be found in New Jersey tap water. Water is not an effective masturbation lubricant.

A completely stretched-out standard Slinky is 87 feet long. Neither it nor a penis will rebound to it's original shape after such a stretch.