New Wave Outpost Forum

Is it the late starts and unending lengths of these boring-ass games? No.

Is it that most of the players are exerting only marginally more energy than I am while chewing through my bag of Doritos? No.

Is it the insufferable unfunniness of Joe Buck and Tim "Keen Grasp Of The Obvious" McCarver? No.

It's having to explain all the fucking Levitra and Cialis commercials to my kids.

"Dad, what's ED?"
"Dad, what's being capable of performing sexual activity?"
"Dad, what's a 6-hour erection?"
"Dad, what's does permanent erectile tissue damage mean?"
"Dad, why's that hot chick even with that old fuck?"

Okay, they don't really ask ALL those questions, but Jesus H, is there really that much erectile disfunction in this country? And even if there is, do those guys want to be constantly reminded that they have a limp needle dick in their lap while they're trying to have a beer and enjoy a game? What the fuck people?!

Wanna laugh? When my son was about 5 we were standing in the grocery line, I was taking groceries out on the cart, my son was standing at the candy rack, like they always do. It's a Saturday morning, the place is packed. He yells "MOM", I'm expecting him to ask for some candy. No he asks "does dad have that erectile function they keep talking about on TV". I just wanted to crawl under the grocery cart. Everyone else there split a gut. One little old lady told him that was why he was here. True story.

"Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive"

LOL, 82! Aren't kids the best?!!!

______________________
Southern Belles Rule The World!

I just recently has the whole blood-and-cramps-and-yes-it-fucking-sucks-but-what-can-you-do talk with my 10-year-old daughter. I don't know who was more mortified.

So we're watching t.v. last night, and a commercial for a maxi pad comes on. It basically had a cartoon maxi pad riding a bucking cartoon mechanical bull. I guess the message is supposed to be: "It stays in place, ya'll!"

My normally girly-girl daughter looked at me and said, "I SO wish I was a boy right now." Ha!

Hah! Funny stories guys.

I've got one from when when my daughter was about 3 or 4. She's the youngest of the gang. We're in NY Museum of Natural History. They've got one of those old style caveman exhibits. The boys and I must have been standinga ways away. Suddenly my daughter comes yelling across the museum, "Guys! Guys! Look, they've got wee-wees just like you do!!!" There's at least two dozen people just cracking up hysterically.

My son went through a short phase where he told [i]everyone[/i] how old he was. And his sister...and his mom...and his dad...grandparents...aunts...uncles...etc.

To this day though, I can't help but crack a smile when he told me that Cheerios are made of Cheerio sand. Look at the bottom of your Cheerios box. These kids are way too damned cute [:o)]

<a href="http://www.worldwildlife.org/cetaceans/index.cfm">Own. Rule. All.</a>

[quote]Originally posted by Blir
[br]
Is it the insufferable unfunniness of Joe Buck and Tim "Keen Grasp Of The Obvious" McCarver? No.

[/quote]
Actually, that pretty much hits the nail on the head for me.

[quote]Originally posted by Blir
[br]
Okay, they don't really ask ALL those questions, but Jesus H, is there really that much erectile disfunction in this country?
[/quote]
I don't know about that, but clearly it must be a huge problem in American sports.

[quote][i]Originally posted by BigBri[/i]
<br>I don't know about that, but clearly it must be a huge problem in American sports.
[/quote]
Are 'roids then a plot by the pharmaceuticals to turn around and sell them ED meds?

"Dad, what does 'testicles shrunk to the size of raisins' mean?"

What about Tony Gwynn broadcasting? I'm not saying he is fat but the other two guys on either side of him in the booth have to lean into Tony just to be seen. He is just one Princess Leia on a chain away from being Jabba The Hut.

[quote]Originally posted by Blir
[br]Is it the late starts and unending lengths of these boring-ass games? No.

[/quote]
After that 4 and a half hour game last night (I didn't get to my car until Midnight - Hello, East Coast, anyone watching??????) I'm going to have to go with this one!



Actually, not too long ago I'm sitting with three of my boys, early to mid teens, when a Maxoderm commercial comes on, Natural Male Enhancement, so I struggle through that as silence falls upon the room and I can't find the remote anywhere... only to my relief the commercial ends and the new commercial starts with a few guys sitting around strumming a song...ok....this is good...hey, this is an Elvis song...then they break into the chorus..."Viva...Viagra" Doh! A classic Doubleheader!

Gagne...boy that kid wizard Theo really knows how to make a trade. IDIOT!

Move over Bob This will make everything All Right
Beldare Conehead said "Ah Large By This"
http://www.zshare.net/video/421084481d1e1f/
[:D]

http://www.zshare.net/video/4210951b3e7540/
Link didn't take...Sorry[:D]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Blir[/i]
<br>Gagne...boy that kid wizard Theo really knows how to make a trade. IDIOT!
[/quote]


When he came in I told my wife , Game over! He did not disappoint.


I've had to be quick with the remote a few times watching Cash Cab on Discovery Channel. I don't know why they have to sell Herpes meds in the early evening, when kids may still be tuned in.

Yep--soon as I saw him leave the bullpen I knew it was done and shut the tv off after that intelligent time of an 8:30 start for an Eastern playoff game.....

Had to flip it back on about 15/20 minutes later and saw the results--glad I missed it.

IF the Sox get past the Tribe--although I picked the Tribe to take it all months ago--Gagne needs to stay behind and they should take Snyder or Yoyo.....