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Rice King

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:59 pm
by zill
I need help. I think I've finally gone over the edge. I've explained this bizarre asian connection I have before, and I'm married to a fiery Korean. But now it's spilling over into other aspects of my life.

On the weekend we had BBQ hamburgers. As I sat looking at the array of mustard, ketchup, relish, pickles, lettuce, tomato, mayo, banana peppers and onions trying to decide what to put on my burger, it suddenly popped into my head...KIMCHI! Yes, KIMCHI! What I needed on my hamburger was KIMCHI! Spicy fermented cabbage!!! I ran to the kitchen and opened the fridge and let the smell guide my nose to the tub of kimchi. I heaped it onto my burger as my wife and kids stared in horror. And it was freakin' DELICIOUS! I LOVED it! I've never enjoyed a burger so much in my entire freakin' life!

AAAARRGGGHHH!!! What is happening to me!!!???!!!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 2:03 pm
by wherewereuin82
You need some poutine. That's the only thing that will save you.

**And back bacon. Lot's of it. Also, a viewing of Bob & Doug's Two Four Anniversary, Mr. Dress-up and The Friendly Giant could help.**

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:04 pm
by zill
[quote][i]Originally posted by wherewereuin82[/i]
<br>You need some poutine. That's the only thing that will save you.

**And back bacon. Lot's of it. Also, a viewing of Bob & Doug's Two Four Anniversary, Mr. Dress-up and The Friendly Giant could help.**
[/quote]

Can I dip my french fry in your gravy?...er...ok...well...that line wasn't funny in the other post and it's still not funny in this one!!!

But I would like to play dress-up! [;)]

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:45 pm
by Bitter Almonds
<p align="justify">How did you manage to marry a Korean[?] The last girl I dated was Korean and her brother totally freaked out when he met me[}:)]

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:49 pm
by zill
[quote][i]Originally posted by XXX[/i]
<br><p align="justify">How did you manage to marry a Korean[?] The last girl I dated was Korean and her brother totally freaked out when he met me[}:)]
[/quote]

I charmed the pants off her mother too! [;)]

PostPosted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:14 pm
by i_like_lectric_motors
[quote][i]Originally posted by XXX[/i]
<br><p align="justify">How did you manage to marry a Korean[?] The last girl I dated was Korean and her brother totally freaked out when he met me[}:)]
[/quote]

All you do is pat the brother on the head and give him a quarter ... works every time.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:06 am
by plagiarism
[quote][i]Originally posted by zill[/i]

I charmed the pants off her mother too! [;)]
[/quote]

Dear [i]Penthouse Letters[/i],

I'm an Asian chick magnet. They can't keep their eyes and hands off of me. Let me tell you about the time....

[;)]

Oh, there's a place in town that makes a great bulgogi burger.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:24 am
by zill
[quote][i]Originally posted by XXX[/i]
<br><p align="justify">How did you manage to marry a Korean[?] The last girl I dated was Korean and her brother totally freaked out when he met me[}:)]
[/quote]

Actually, you can win over the dads and brothers simply by being able to hold your liquor. Koreans LOVE to drink and if you can keep up, you're OK, even if you're white. And soju is pretty easy to drink, especially if you mix it with beer (they do it in Korea all the time so you wouldn't be seen as a heathen). Chivas is usually the drink of choice with the older crowd.

For years my father-in-law started every morning with a large glass of water from this massive water jug with a freakishly large ginseng root infusing inside it. "Medicine" he called it. I eventually figured out the ginseng root wasn't in water...it was voldka! Nothing like a 12 ounce glass of ginseng infused voldka to start the day!

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:41 am
by Bitter Almonds
[quote][i]Originally posted by zill[/i]
Actually, you can win over the dads and brothers simply by being able to hold your liquor. Koreans LOVE to drink and if you can keep up, you're OK, even if you're white. And soju is pretty easy to drink, especially if you mix it with beer (they do it in Korea all the time so you wouldn't be seen as a heathen). Chivas is usually the drink of choice with the older crowd.[/quote]

<p align="justify">That's the thing - I'm not white. He was furious when he saw I'm a "mexican." The guy's a pushover. I'd have kicked his arse, but outta deference to her I just walked away from that noise.

I never got around to having that spicy noodle soup[}:)]

PostPosted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:31 am
by design_femme
Kimchi.

My dad, a now-retired pediatrician, had this one Korean patient's mother give him jars and jars and jars of kimchi during visits. Seriously. We were stockpiling them — maybe for a nuclear winter or something, I dunno.

Anyhoo, my dad waived a lot of doctor visit bills for her. Who knew you could barter fermented cabbage.

Now I have to go try kimchi burgers...

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:41 am
by Frau_Blucher
My grandmother used to eat kimchi with pancakes. It was the only way she could stomach most bland American foods. She was BTW the only sane Korean woman I've ever known. All others are complete psychotics as zill has either already found out or will sooner or later. [i]Halmoonee[/i] also gave me one of my favorite sayings - "Keep an open mind but not so much so that the wind blows freely through it" - probably one of the sources of my distaste for extreme lefts and rights.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:36 am
by design_femme
Blir, not too long ago, my friend and I were having this exact conversation: Koreans are crazy. ESPECIALLY when they're from New Jersey. Some are a bit wacky, but still ok. Others, however, are just ticking time bombs.

"Do not wake the dragon."

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:58 am
by Bitter Almonds
<p align="justify">From experience, the craziest women are Cambodian, Laotian, Thai, and the occasional Vietnamese and Chinese (either HK or Taiwan). Holy crap, they'll start off real sweet, very touchy-feely, but once you break bad news to them - you better have all the emergency exits memorised. "Crazy" doesn't even begin to describe how they can switch mood in a snap[:X][:X][:X][:X][B)] Korean and Japanese girls have usually been the calmest, most put-together, balanced, and best-dressed I've met. Now, I can't really say the same thing about the guys - Korean guys are really off their rocker. I had two Korean guy roommates back in college and they almost got me evicted. I had a fobby Korean girl roommate the year before and it was smooth-cruisin'... not a peep from her the whole year[}:)]

PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:25 am
by zill
[quote][i]Originally posted by Blir[/i]
<br>My grandmother used to eat kimchi with pancakes. It was the only way she could stomach most bland American foods. She was BTW the only sane Korean woman I've ever known. All others are complete psychotics as zill has either already found out or will sooner or later. [i]Halmoonee[/i] also gave me one of my favorite sayings - "Keep an open mind but not so much so that the wind blows freely through it" - probably one of the sources of my distaste for extreme lefts and rights.
[/quote]

Are you saying my wife is going to turn into a bunny boiler? Well...boiling a bunny would be a refreshing change from the bear paws and other weird shit on the stove.

Anyway, I can't help myself. Korean woman are just sooo beautiful, put together, well dressed...the crazy fiery part just adds a little excitement. Sometimes a little too much, like when they're smashing your windshield with a baseball bat...but that was a l-o-n-g time ago...

PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:30 am
by zill
[quote][i]Originally posted by XXX[/i]
<br><p align="justify">From experience, the craziest women are Cambodian, Laotian, Thai, and the occasional Vietnamese and Chinese (either HK or Taiwan).[/quote]

Dude! What about Latin American women? They're not well represented in Canada so I have limited experience, but talk about sudden mood changes! Yikes! Maybe that's why I love them too! [;)]