The 10 Worst Lyricists In Rock: Blender Magazine

[djcraig]

10 • Jim Morrison
Why would a guy who looked this good shirtless want to be smart, anyway?

09 • Donovan
LSD may be a lot fun—But not if we have to listen to entire albums made on it.

08 • Diane Warren
Love stinks.

The famously reclusive songwriter has never been married and doesn’t like dating. This estrangement from actual relationships may help explain her astonishing longevity as the world’s most successful author of creepily idealized cheesy love songs—from Michael Bolton’s “How Can We Be Lovers” to Brandy’s “Have You Ever?” and LeAnn Rimes’s “Can’t Fight the Moonlight.” She has enjoyed more than 100 Billboard chart hits. Unless you’re a big Cher fan, you haven’t enjoyed any of them.

07 • Paul Stanley
This is what’s wrong with being sexy.

06 • Tom Marshall
The poet laureate of jam-band America—and a big fan of unicorns.

05 • Dan Fogelberg
John Denver, you’ve met your match.

04 • Noel Gallagher
Too busy being better than the Beatles to edit for clarity.

03 • Scott Stapp (Creed)
Just good friends with the Lord.

02 • Neil Peart
An ace on the rototoms, a train wreck on the typewriter.

01 • STING

Mountainous pomposity, cloying spirituality, ham-handed metaphors: He can do it all.


According to Foxnews- Well, Sting gets the last laugh. He sent this column a message by e-mail to relay to Blender.

"I am deeply honoured and proud to receive this tremendous accolade for my past efforts, especially when one considers all of the competition out there. Well, I guess somebody has to be top of the heap, so it may as well be me. I can only try and live up to this extravagant and unexpected honour in my future work. So once again, thank you, thank you and thank you."



<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>

[Frau_Blucher]

Hah, I immediately guessed the two bookends before opening the thread. Thanks for the LOL Craig. The ones in the middle though aren't really of any consequence are they? Who really cares about those guys - that makes for a pretty boring and completely uncontrovertial list doesn't it? But still, very very very very very glad that Sting's getting his due...the motherfackingly incessant rhyming motherfacker!!! [:(!]

[club80]

Well here's my unsolicited (and probably) unpopular response.
Jim Morrison? Actually, I always thought he was a great lyricist. Brilliant? Yes, I would say most definitely so.

Honorees 2-9. I couldn't agree more.

Now here's the unpopular part. Sting? Probably not #1 but I found a majority of his lyrics to be pretty weak. And..I LIKE The Police. I saw them twice in 1982 and thoroughly enjoyed both shows. I would, however, concur that his lyrics, by and large, were not brilliant.




We didn't sell a lot of records, but somehow we left an impression.
-Johnny Ramone-

[tenohtwo]

Sting's had a few cringe-inducing moments in the lyrics dept. (Walking In Your Footsteps), but he's not exactly the first person that comes to my mind for this list. Seriously, there's a hundred worse than him. The Soul Cages, his best album, has some great lyrics, but this is freaking Blender, a magazine notorious for slagging successful artists just to appear hip. C'mon, they're picking on Jim Morrison and Neil Peart? I suppose the guy from Smashmouth was too good a lyricist to make the cut?! Now we can look forward to VH1 making a show about this list, and enlisting several C-level stand-up comics to make fun of one lyric they spent 3 hours writing a punch line for.

1002

[club80]

[quote][i]Originally posted by tenohtwo[/i]
<br>Sting's had a few cringe-inducing moments in the lyrics dept. (Walking In Your Footsteps), but he's not exactly the first person that comes to my mind for this list. Seriously, there's a hundred worse than him. The Soul Cages, his best album, has some great lyrics, but this is freaking Blender, a magazine notorious for slagging successful artists just to appear hip. C'mon, they're picking on Jim Morrison and Neil Peart? I suppose the guy from Smashmouth was too good a lyricist to make the cut?! Now we can look forward to VH1 making a show about this list, and enlisting several C-level stand-up comics to make fun of one lyric they spent 3 hours writing a punch line for.

1002
[/quote]

That's a lot of truth in what you say. I never said Sting was the very worst but his lyrics do leave a lot to be desired. I'll buy the fact that Rush has written some decent lyrics.




We didn't sell a lot of records, but somehow we left an impression.
-Johnny Ramone-

[SomebodySomewhere]

Blender. That's that magazine that raves endlessly about Arcade Fire, right? I rest my case.

What Jim Morrison and Sting are doing on a list with Diane Warren, I have no idea. Limahl and Nick Beggs -- now THAT there was great lyricism.



--
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[gnj1958]

Blender? jeez.

[DJ Phoenix]

Yeah, they also lick Amy Winehouse's ass and make her out to be the second coming of jesus or something. Blender is not credible as a magazine, and you're dead, on, they don't know what good music is. They do this sorta stuff to sell mags.

http://djphenix.proboards55.com/

[mgmlion]

I picked up a copy of Blender in an airport a couple of years ago. It must've been the only decent issue they ever put out (Family Guy was on the cover), because I subscribed for 2 or 3 years, and have regretted that decision ever since. It's truly awful, and I'm hoping it dies before my subscription ends, as I'm tired of going "Aaargh!" when I open my mailbox.

To put this into perspective, the cover of the issue with this list has a half-naked *Pussycat Doll* on the cover. Now if that ain't credible... I've tried to convince myself that they're actually being incredibly ironic, but I seriously doubt it.

[bigwavedave]

I thought Blender wasn't too shabby when it was first published; they had tons of reviews including a large reissue section. It seemed to be modeled after Q and Mojo, who also have massive review sections. Seems they've scaled the good stuff back...

Not that Rolling Stone gives much of an alternative.

[British]

You mean Marianne Faithful isn't mentioned? If she's the artist I'm thinking of, listening to her sing is pure torture.

[Crimsor]

The complete list had Kevin Federline on it somewhere. In unrelated news, Blender won the award for Most Obvious List!

bestinshowradio.com

[newwavepunkgirl]

Sorry! But I TOTALLY disagree with the inclusion of Neil Peart! His lyrics are very intelligent and interesting, 'freewill' is a classic! And Sting also wrote some bloody good lyrics with The Police I mean alot of it was about loneliness and bloody great stuff! This pompous person who chose those great songwriters as bad is a moron! I have found their lyrics to be very inspirational and helped me through tuogh times! It's what us true fans think that counts not some stuck-up frustrated wanna-be muso and moron of a journo.[V][:(!]RUSH and The Police woudl be nothing wihtout their unique lyrics-as a songwriter myself I woudl love to be able to write lyrics that 'crap'! Oh I ocudl rant forever about this one! In my opinion those two guys are two of the BEST lyricists ever!You can relate to them alot of it is about heartache in Sting's case and not fitting in in Neil Peart's case. Whoever came up with this list is one lucky fucker for having such an easy life that he doesn't need songs to relate to!They can rot in hell idiot journalists!

(PS saw RUSH live here in the UK the other week and they rocked! Neil Peart's drum solo was worth admission alone!Plus the laser lighting was amazing![:)])

Devolution is real