With all the talk about Terry Schiavo and whether or not to kill her, I thought I should go ahead and write out my living will so that all my needs are met if I should become a vegetable at some pointe (that's British for "point").
1. I want to live as long as I can be kept alive.
2. Keep a steady flow of my favorite music on at all times in my hospital room. Friends and family are allowed to change the music while they visit, but only if they visit me a lot. If they only come once in a while, then screw them.
3. Russell and Jeff can split my record collection, but don't let Tom have any. He gets them all greasy and never puts them back in the sleeves.
4. Get my mother the phone number for Canon tech support, as I won't be around to fix her printer every couple of days anymore.
5. Don't let the doctors get away with that "We've done all we can" garbage. Have they brought in Kim Wilde to give me a three-second frencher yet?
6. Every year on my birthday, play "It's A Dead Man's Party" and throw a dance party in my hospital room. Don't let Jimmy do the running man. It was only funny the first time.
7. A necrophiliac nurse wouldn't be a bad idea.
<B>Anyone else want to contribute their own will?</B>