parents who pay for their kids' college

[KYYX4ever]

Is this normal ? Or should I say, the usual, accepted thing ?

The reason I ask is that I've discovered that it's certainly the norm around here, and I'm astounded. I teach high school, and I am amazed at the amount of kids whose parents set up college funds for them, or are otherwise paying for their kids' college education.

When I was going to school in the early 80s, only the richest kids had that luck. And when I applied to college, my parents were like "good luck paying for that ! ". My folks made it very clear that college was my own endeavor, and therefore I had to take care of paying for it myself . I had to take out loans, Pell Grants & scholarships.

I was just curious about your opinions, especially those of you who are parents. Do you have a plan/ fund for your kids' college educations? More importantly, do parents owe their kids this ?

[eight6]

[quote]Originally posted by KYYX4ever
[br]Is this normal ? Or should I say, the usual, accepted thing ?

The reason I ask is that I've discovered that it's certainly the norm around here, and I'm astounded. I teach high school, and I am amazed at the amount of kids whose parents set up college funds for them, or are otherwise paying for their kids' college education.

When I was going to school in the early 80s, only the richest kids had that luck. And when I applied to college, my parents were like "good luck paying for that ! ". My folks made it very clear that college was my own endeavor, and therefore I had to take care of paying for it myself . I had to take out loans, Pell Grants & scholarships.

I was just curious about your opinions, especially those of you who are parents. Do you have a plan/ fund for your kids' college educations? More importantly, do parents owe their kids this ?
[/quote]

We've been putting money aside for this for some time now. The deal is: it's for continuing your education in a formalized setting, not the "slumming around Europe" type of education. That they can pay for themselves. If they choose not to get an education, the wife and I have some mad money.

As far as owing it to them: if they've done well enough in school to warrant the investment, we feel that yes, we owe them the opportunity to make the most of themselves...provided it's money well spent.

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[coop41]

Interesting question. My parents definitely helped me get student loans etc but I also worked throughout college. My wife and I planned early on to save for our kids college and thankfully, for the most part, have been able to do so (at least for our oldest, the 3 youngest are screwed[;)]). Unfortunately, it's so darn expensive now that grants, loans and a job (a must) will still come into play. Our oldest heads off to college this coming school year. Another big problem with the expense is the number of years it takes for someone to graduate has risen through the years. Arizona Universities claim they are making a concerted effort to reduce the number back to four but we will see. It is just an incredible amount of money to go to college these days, I'm not sure it's feasible any other way.
I'm sure this is closer to the norm, at least from the people we know that have kids graduating this year.
Then again, nowadays, we have to make sure our kids wear their helmets when riding their bikes. We didn't even own helmets when we were kids....

[Cadman68]

I set up College Funds for both of my kids. But I'm afraid that by the time they start college, it may not be enough, with colleges increasing their enrollment fees every year.

I also had to work and pay for it myself. I was in the Army, so I was able to use the GI bill for most of my college. And I took out loans for what it didn't cover.

As a parent I want my kids to have the opportunities I didn't have. Do you owe that(paying for college) to our children? I don't believe so.

I graduated in 1986, half my class of 525 students were going to college and I would have to say 35% of them, their parents were picking up the bill. You know what my parents got for me on my graduation....Luggage! My parent didn't have the money to send me to college, much less keep me around the house (ie my graduation gift.)

I'm happy with everything I've been thru and it's made me what I am today. Hopefully my kids will feel the same way when they're my age.

[SwampThing]

Both my parents had only 9th grade educations. Needless to say they never really helped me with my homework or considered college for me. They did install a very good work ethic. I've never been unemployed and in my youth worked up to 3 jobs at once. They ended up paying for two years of community college, which at the time seemed enough to get a decent job and start my career.

It seems a 2 year degree holds no weight in the "new economy" so I will most definitely do my best to pay for all three of my kids college tuition and encourage a 4-year degree.

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[shovelbum]

Frank and I are finding that most people we know who have kids already have well established college funds for them. They are horrified to discover that Frank and I haven't compiled any such thing for our kids. Frank paid for his own college (and worked through college too), and now we're paying for mine. My parents didn't believe in college- they were successful without it and felt that it was a snobby thing to do. I don't agree with them, especially these days. However, I have seen plenty of friends blow it in college, and most of them were getting a free ride from Mommy and Daddy. Mind you, these were kids who were honor students in high school, so I'm sure their parents didn't even see it coming.

Because I pay for my own college, I take it far more seriously than I would have if someone else were picking up the check. I see lots of freshmen in school now (who are almost 20 years younger than me! Eek!!!) who come in with their Coach bags and Fendi sunglasses who completely take it for granted. It is common for kids to come to class drunk after lunch hour. Last semester I saw an 18 year old boy cry during a final exam because he'd hardly come to class all semester. As he sat there taking the exam he realized he'd blown it. Soooo sad.

I will help my kids here and there, when they really need it, but I expect them to pay for the majority of it themselves. I think it's good insurance that they'll get good grades and take it seriously. I also expect them to work so they'll appreciate the value of a dollar.



My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

[phillyidol]

It is the norm here too. We hope for any and all scholorships we can get but after that we will pay. I look at it as an investment, I want them to do well in life so I will help them. I expect them to repay the favor one day by being happy.

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[birdmadgirl]

I had to pay for my college with loans, grants and scholarships. Only the "rich" kids' parents paid for their college in my neck of the woods.

Our kids are going to have to pay for their own, too. I'll do everything I can to help them out--maybe it'll be possible for them to live rent-free with us while going to school, I'll help with bills as much as I can, whatever--but they're going to have to handle the tuition/fees part.

I'm already talking up the importance of scholarships, grants and work study programs with our three kids. I had lots of help like that and still came out with $33,000 in loan debt. I don't want to think about what my debt would have looked like without that help.

[coop41]

[quote][i]Originally posted by shovelbum[/i]
<br>Because I pay for my own college, I take it far more seriously than I would have if someone else were picking up the check. [/quote]


Don't you think your age and maturity level has something to do with it too? After all, you are nearly 20 years older than most kids entering college. I'm guessing you aren't hitting many fraternity parties or doing many other social functions, which are also a big part of growing up and the college experience.

It is definitely a fear as a parent that my kids will waste their opportunity.

[WolverineSyr]

My parents paid for community college for me back in 1980.

I see a lot of kids not taking college seriously - it's the age. I wasn't serious when I went back then. I see most adults taking it VERY seriously - especially since we have to work all day and pay for it out of our pockets. I don't qualify for squat & it's either a loan or pay for a class, save all semester & pay for the next class. I'm afraid that in the fall, I'll have to finally take out a loan.

[marie3]

We have accounts set up for the kids college also.
I am sure it will not be enough for them when the time comes. But it will be something. I am hoping for some good scholarships.

[shovelbum]

[quote][i]Originally posted by coop41[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by shovelbum[/i]
<br>Because I pay for my own college, I take it far more seriously than I would have if someone else were picking up the check. [/quote]


Don't you think your age and maturity level has something to do with it too? After all, you are nearly 20 years older than most kids entering college. I'm guessing you aren't hitting many fraternity parties or doing many other social functions, which are also a big part of growing up and the college experience.

It is definitely a fear as a parent that my kids will waste their opportunity.
[/quote]

Well, coop, I think that IS a factor, but no matter what your age level, if you had to work your ass off for that money you'd take it seriously. I know if I'd gone when I was 20 years younger and paid for it myself I'd be on the ball too. Also, I don't go to alot of frat functions, but I DO have a social life and I try to keep it in fair balance. Also, I don't have alot of free time because I'm taking care of home and family as well. It's a careful juggling act. Maybe I'm not hung over from a co-ed party, but I may be exhausted from nursing a puking kid all night long.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

[newwavepunkgirl]

Being in the UK I don't think it is the norm here but if i have kids I am gonna set a college fund up from birth as education is so expensive here now! I was gonna go to uni last year and apart from other more personal reasons the cost did put0 me off as you need at least a grand just to pay for your first rent installment, I am now thinking to study locally as it's very expensive right now. There's students here in the UK who have comitted suicude their college debts are so bad. We're talking an average equilivilent of $30-40,000 for a 3 year course which is ridiculous and I suspect it's just as bad over in the States,if not worse. So yep, a college fund is essential if you want your kids to get on in life now. My older brother was very lucky in that you got it paid for when he did it now you have to cough up yourself.It's a major beef of mine as I always wanted to get a degree!

Luv Natasha[:(][:(!]

Devolution is real

[zill]

In Canada you can set up a registered education plan for your kids. You put money into an account for them and the investment income earned on that account is tax free. Every year, the goverment will also put in $400 if you put in $2,000. Hey, $400 of free money a year adds up over 18 years. We take advantage of this and sometimes I think my kids have more money than I do.

I am torn about it, however. As with some of the earlier posts, I had to pay my own way through university. I think that I took it more seriously because of having to work so hard for it, and it definitely built character. It taught me the value of a dollar and about economic rationing. "Do I eat this week or drink beer?"

At the same time, I view those years as the most stressful time of my life. I actually think I would have performed better at school without worrying about my finances at the same time as worrying about papers and exams.

[ebbhead]

Have a 529c plan for my older daughter, and about to set up a college account, prob a 529c again, for my younger daughter. I have no delusions that the accounts will be sufficient to cover tuition and room & board. In fact, with the proliferation of these accounts now, I'm sure colleges will begin to factor that into tuition raises. (More people can afford it, let's raise tuition.) So I'm sure my kids will have to take out student loans and apply for scholarships, just as I did. And I'm fine with that. As stated over and over above, the wife and I want them to have some ownership in the payment of their education.

That said, I'm sure the wife and I will attempt to help out with any shortcomings between the accounts and scholarships.