Funerals

[Max Murdoc]

I know there's a thread about old friends dying but now I have a question. My ex claims she has a brain tumor and is going to die. This is what she told my son on his birthday (tells you what kind of a complete piece of shit she is). Now the question my son and daughter brought up is do we attend the funeral? My daughter says she will go, my son says he'll make sure he has something better to do on the day of the funeral and I just will stay home and watch "Whose Line is it?".

The ex has had no active role in raising the kids (I did it myself) and she owes $20,000 in back child support so I could give a rats ass if and when she passes. My question is how do I answer in laws questions about why me and my son aren't going? I don't want to be a complete ass to their face and tell them the truth why I could give a shit. Is there a tactful way in which I can bow out of it?

Any suggestions? Comments?

[enzfan]

Give them the link to your post. Does she have any life insurance? If she owes that much in back child support they should garnish anything someone would recieve from her passing and send it to you.

[oneno]

You owe her nothing and the kids are old enough to make their own decisions.Send Flowers and sign the on-line condolences. This is of course if she really is dying or just pulling another feel sorry for me ploy


<img src="http://murrayswarehousing.com/box210.jpg">
Phineous J. Whoopie

[Frau_Blucher]

[quote][i]Originally posted by oneno[/i]
<br>This is of course if she really is dying
[/quote]
Two guys from New Jersey decide to go deer hunting. They park their Camaro next to the nearest woods, ready their .38 Specials, and go walking off.

After a few minutes, a deer springs out, they instantly start firing away and - horrors - one of the guys hits the other. He sprints back to the car in a panic to call 911.

He frantically tells the operator what's happened, screaming that he's killed his best friend. She tells him "Whoa, whoa, calm down. Before you go crazy, let's make sure that your partner is actually dead."

Suddenly she hears footsteps running away from the phone followed by a long silence - "Hello? Hello? Are you still there?" - and then two quick gunshots off in the distance.

The man returns to the operator. Gasping for breath, he says "Okay, he's dead for sure - now what?"

[scramjet]

[quote]
Two guys from New Jersey decide to go deer hunting. They park their Camaro next to the nearest woods, ready their .38 Specials, and go walking off.
[/quote]

If .38 Special is getting mentioned, can the guy spewing out his nose pic be far behind?

[Frau_Blucher]

[quote][i]Originally posted by scramjet[/i]
<br>[quote]
Two guys from New Jersey decide to go deer hunting. They park their Camaro next to the nearest woods, ready their .38 Specials, and go walking off.
[/quote]

If .38 Special is getting mentioned, can the guy spewing out his nose pic be far behind?
[/quote]
Hah!

Oh, sorry...Max, just listen to Oneno.

[eight6]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Blir[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by scramjet[/i]
<br>[quote]
Two guys from New Jersey decide to go deer hunting. They park their Camaro next to the nearest woods, ready their .38 Specials, and go walking off.
[/quote]

If .38 Special is getting mentioned, can the guy spewing out his nose pic be far behind?
[/quote]
Hah!

Oh, sorry...Max, just listen to Oneno.
[/quote]


Bigger Hah!

Maybe I'm not understanding fully...why would you need to explain to the in-laws? Based on your post, I would think they know how you feel, and shouldn't be overly surprised by your lack of attendance.

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[hexicon]

If I were you I'd go . . . to make sure she was really dead.

[Bitter Almonds]

<p align="justify">Don't waste your or anyone's time, man. If you don't wanna go, don't go. I think a condelences card and flowers delivered would be more than enough. Better yet, don't send flowers and donate the money to a charity of your choice in her family's name.

[MARV]

[quote][i]Originally posted by hexicon[/i]
<br>If I were you I'd go . . . to make sure she was really dead.
[/quote]

Best post of the year, LOL [:D]

Wow, what an unfortunate situation. [i]"I don't want to be a complete ass to their face and tell them the truth why I could give a shit."[/i] DO tell them the truth. If they're reasonable people, they'll understand your point of view. Who knows, you may even find at least partial resolution to this money issue with your story among her family. If I was entitled to that money I know I'd do it.

[Max Murdoc]

All of these posts are great!

If I remember correctly she owes the government a couple of thousand dollars (including fines and penalties) because she failed to report her 401k she received about 7 years ago so Uncle Sam will take what he's owed before I see anything. (if she does have any insurance at all)

Her parents are almost as bad as she is for instance, my son was conceived out of wedlock (oh the horrors!) so they really don't include him in the holidays but my daughter who was conceived while we were married gets gifts on holidays and birthdays. They go overboard when it come to church and push their beliefs on anyone within earshot. That's why I stay out of range.

I like the idea of not going but sending a contribution to a charity in their name (of course it has to be a charity that they wouldn't expect) does sound good. How about a hundred bucks to NORML?

[hexicon]

Hey Max, now that I made the flip remark I'm going to play devil's advocate and argue the other side.

I think the important thing here is to let your kids make the decision and support that. Sometimes (speaking for myself anyway) after people are gone we find things out about them--things that don't necessarily justify their behavior but explain more about why they were that way. Sounds like she was a lousy mom but she was their only mom.

At some point in the future they may regret not having paid their last respects, and as the adult with more life experience, it's up to you to remind them that as they grow older and acquire a broader outlook on life, they may feel differently about their mom. Then if one or both decide to go you can ask if they'd like you there. And if they do want you there, you can cinch up the necktie real tight and say "I'm here to support my children" over and over again in response to all inquiries.

Anyway, just a different take on things. This family stuff is hard.

[Max Murdoc]

[quote][i]Originally posted by hexicon[/i]
<br>Hey Max, now that I made the flip remark I'm going to play devil's advocate and argue the other side.

I think the important thing here is to let your kids make the decision and support that. Sometimes (speaking for myself anyway) after people are gone we find things out about them--things that don't necessarily justify their behavior but explain more about why they were that way. Sounds like she was a lousy mom but she was their only mom.

At some point in the future they may regret not having paid their last respects, and as the adult with more life experience, it's up to you to remind them that as they grow older and acquire a broader outlook on life, they may feel differently about their mom. Then if one or both decide to go you can ask if they'd like you there. And if they do want you there, you can cinch up the necktie real tight and say "I'm here to support my children" over and over again in response to all inquiries.

Anyway, just a different take on things. This family stuff is hard.
[/quote]


Oh man! Why did you have to get all....what's the word I'm looking for....correct? [:D]

She has not been a mother at all. As a matter of fact, my son calls her "that lady who gave birth to me". She calls my daughter after midnight, drunk as hell and tells her how terrible of a daughter she is for not calling her. As you can see, she's not exactly June Cleaver. Both kids are adults and I'll support their decisions on how they'll handle the situation. As for me actually attending (if and when she does pass) it will only happen if my daughter is having a hard time with it and wants me to go. Other than that, she's just somebody who owes me a hell of a lot of money.

[Frau_Blucher]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Max Murdoc[/i]
<br>Other than that, she's just somebody who owes me a hell of a lot of money.
[/quote]
Is she in such bad shape that her organs would have limited value on the black market? If not, that's another avenue you could consider for remuneration.

[eight6]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Blir[/i]
<br>[quote][i]Originally posted by Max Murdoc[/i]
<br>Other than that, she's just somebody who owes me a hell of a lot of money.
[/quote]
Is she in such bad shape that her organs would have limited value on the black market? If not, that's another avenue you could consider for remuneration.
[/quote]

The timing sucks...we just had a doctor who lived in the area arrested in India for performing up to 500 illegal organ transplant operations there. With a volume business like that, he would have had her cleaned out in no time.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/0802 ... y_racket_8

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