What kind of gasser are you / 2

[MARV]

Come on, after Eight's poll you know this one was coming sooner or later [:D] And remember, it's anonymous so don't be shy.....

[phillyidol]

I fart on my kids. They run screaming through the house. It is hysterical!




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[CounterCircular]

I like to blast in a grocery aisle when the aroma is especially harmful, then watch someone innocently walk into the mist. It never grows old to see people walk unexpectedly into my proud gas plume.

[wherewereuin82]

I don't fart. Pantie burps yes. Mr.82 is the master of the under-cover attack. He just waits for me to crawl into bed, get comfortable then he lets one go (silent of course), moves the blankets around so they cover my head and locks me in for the kill. You would think after 20 + years of marriage I would know when to expect it. I just don't understand what the pull of a fart is for you guys. He does not even get out of bed until he lets one go. Before we had kids, as soon as the dog heard him let one go she would get up and go to the bedroom with her tail wagging. One day when my oldest first started to talk, hubby let one go and he looked up at me and said "daddy up" and then continued on with what he was playing with like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Holy Criznap!

[birdmadgirl]

I have never, in nearly 18 years of dating/shacking up/marriage, farted in front of Mr. BMG. In the early years, I swore I'd never do it. I'd hold them in and nearly die. And then, after I reached that point where he's seen my zitty face, had my morning breath all over him and seen other things we don't need to discuss here, after we've reached the point to where if I fart, he's not going to run off? I can't do it. I physically can't. Trust me, I've tried, because sometimes, I just want him to go away for a few minutes and that would be a sure thing.

I might explode someday.

As far as other farts around other people? I eek them out and then disappear so someone else gets blamed. Like one of the kids. [:D]

[birdmadgirl]

[quote][i]Originally posted by wherewereuin82[/i]
<br>I don't fart. Pantie burps yes. Mr.82 is the master of the under-cover attack. He just waits for me to crawl into bed, get comfortable then he lets one go (silent of course), moves the blankets around so they cover my head and locks me in for the kill. You would think after 20 + years of marriage I would know when to expect it.

[/quote]

Ha! We call that the Redneck Gas Chamber.

What I want to know is: When someone accidentally lets one go, what are you supposed to say? (I don't mean close friends and family. The correct action in that instance is to laugh hysterically and point). A guy who sits near me in class had gastric bypass surgery, and I guess that makes you fart all the time. He warned me about this when I got assigned the seat next to him. So when he lets one go, what am I supposed to do? Say "bless you?" "Excuse you?" "Nice one!"

I don't know. It causes me stress. It's not like I didn't hear it. A deaf person could hear it. He always apologizes. And I tell him it's OK. But it's really not. I feel like I've got to acknowledge it.

[phillyidol]

The blanket fart is called a beef stew.




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[i_like_lectric_motors]

Or a Dutch Oven.

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[wherewereuin82]

[quote][i]Originally posted by birdmadgirl[/i]


What I want to know is: When someone accidentally lets one go, what are you supposed to say? (I don't mean close friends and family. The correct action in that instance is to laugh hysterically and point).

[/quote]


I work in retail and have a lot of shall we say "older" clientele. I can't count the number of times I want to ask one of them if they would like a wipe to clean themselves up after they let one go. Yesterday, I was with another mom waiting for our boys to come out of the dressing room after a hockey game. She kept farting. Honest to God I wanted to ask her "do you think if you don't say anything, I'll think it was me? As classless as I am, even I would have made an excuse to leave the conversation.

Holy Criznap!

[enzfan]

It is hard to keep a straight face when you know you are very rancid and launch a silent bomb. The anticipation of the reaction as they walk into it or it drifts towards them is killer. White Castle is my fuel of choice, the fermentation period is only about four hours after consumption.

http://www.smellypoop.com/facts_on_farts.php

[club80]

[quote][i]Originally posted by CounterCircular[/i]
<br>I like to blast in a grocery aisle when the aroma is especially harmful, then watch someone innocently walk into the mist. It never grows old to see people walk unexpectedly into my proud gas plume.
[/quote]


Especially effective near the fresh broccoli. Well...used to be fresh. Dependent upon the effectiveness of the release, its proximity to the product and the dew point in that aisle, a really special fart could wilt the crop in about...23.8 seconds.



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-Johnny Ramone-

[enzfan]

Beef Stewed, One guy no cup. He prefers his slurpee straight from the dispenser.


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[empyrean]

Dont even think about smelling a fart from a third world country. [:D]

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[Max Murdoc]

My 19 year old daughter and her friends think that it's hilarious to fart on each other.

Kinda strange to see a couple of attractive young women farting and laughing about it....they're worse than long distance truckers. I have Uncles who drive trucks and can peel the paint off the walls with their explosions of gas.

Funny story....my first serious girlfriend and I were wrestling around on the floor when I pushed on her stomach and she farted...she burst into tears and wouldn't talk to me for a couple of days. I had to fart in front of her before she would let me off the hook.

[mhochuli]

On April Fool's Day I put a fart ringtone on my cell phone and had my husband call me each hour throughout the day so my students would have a good laugh. It was hilarious!

On a serious note, I am the only female that I know of who has a husband who isn't a "performer" when it comes to farting. We were married almost 2 yrs. before I actually heard him fart. I even threatened to hide a tape recorder under the bed to catch him in his sleep. He's just kind of private that way [;)]