My ex-wife.
I don't even want to talk about it.[xx(]
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Toxic Friends
28 posts
• Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
by djcraig » Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:18 am
The sad truth is, this world is filled with dysfunctional people. The hard part is admitting that I are one of them. And I am just one of the many. Our planet, society, even our government is rampant with codependency and enabling behavior.
For me, it is hard work to try and change so that I no longer attract or are attracted to people who aren't good for me. Seeing my part in this can be difficult and painful. The advantage is, I am now being proactive and working towards improvement.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
For me, it is hard work to try and change so that I no longer attract or are attracted to people who aren't good for me. Seeing my part in this can be difficult and painful. The advantage is, I am now being proactive and working towards improvement.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
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by phillyidol » Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:15 am
You know that is a very good way to live. Negative people take so much out of you and even hurt you. Now that a few days of thinking have past, I am totally cool with my decision and any repercussions that might come from it. This girl did MANY bad things to me over the years and I put up with them. But I am at a place in my life now where I don't have to. Not saying I will do this with anyone else, you have to put up with some stuff from everybody but this case was just too much.
Worlds GREATEST Photographer!
Worlds GREATEST Photographer!
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by EccentricSage » Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:35 am
Yeah, I've had a childhood frienship where my best friend and I could get along great untill the 'cool girls' would give her a chance to betray me to proove she's like them. After two bouts of her trying to use me to look cooler, I broke it off. I was moveing to the suburbs and atending a diferent highschool anyhow. So I intentionaly lost touch. She found me, and then proceeded to act superior again, and treet me like a fool, so I distanced myself from her again. Finaly, recently, she found me AGAIN! LOL! But she lives pretty far away and she seems to have finaly matured a bit and treeted me with respect, so I talk to her on ocasion.
The other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum. A part of me misses the place teribly, but I just can't stand the drama of deluded self absorbed occultists who befriend you and are so cool, but then go on an ego trip thinking they're in on all the secrets of the universe and have soooooo much power in their hands. Honestly... I think there was a total of five guys and one girl who've caused me drama in that circle.
Look, I have some advice for you guys. When someone is yanking you around and disrespecting you, you have to TEST THEM. Put your foot down, point out their hypocracy kindly, demand respect firmly but politely. If they freek out, let them... keep it going... stand your ground but be the 'bigger man/woman' about it. If they don't calm the fuck down and realise what they're doing, then just cut ties with them as quickly and cleanly as posible. If they come crawling back begging for a second chance, give them only one, and keep them at arms length... put up an emotional barrier between you and them. Don't let them get inside your head or tug at your heart. Then make them prove to you that they won't react that way anymore.
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's rediculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treet you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feal so compelled, and work to change it.
The other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum. A part of me misses the place teribly, but I just can't stand the drama of deluded self absorbed occultists who befriend you and are so cool, but then go on an ego trip thinking they're in on all the secrets of the universe and have soooooo much power in their hands. Honestly... I think there was a total of five guys and one girl who've caused me drama in that circle.
Look, I have some advice for you guys. When someone is yanking you around and disrespecting you, you have to TEST THEM. Put your foot down, point out their hypocracy kindly, demand respect firmly but politely. If they freek out, let them... keep it going... stand your ground but be the 'bigger man/woman' about it. If they don't calm the fuck down and realise what they're doing, then just cut ties with them as quickly and cleanly as posible. If they come crawling back begging for a second chance, give them only one, and keep them at arms length... put up an emotional barrier between you and them. Don't let them get inside your head or tug at your heart. Then make them prove to you that they won't react that way anymore.
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's rediculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treet you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feal so compelled, and work to change it.
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by EccentricSage » Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:46 am
[quote][i]Originally posted by djcraig[/i]
<br>The sad truth is, this world is filled with dysfunctional people. The hard part is admitting that I are one of them. And I am just one of the many. Our planet, society, even our government is rampant with codependency and enabling behavior.
For me, it is hard work to try and change so that I no longer attract or are attracted to people who aren't good for me. Seeing my part in this can be difficult and painful. The advantage is, I am now being proactive and working towards improvement.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
[/quote]
Good advice and very true.
My rule of thumb is to give the benifit of a doubt at first, and to be forgiving of other's shortcomeings so long as they are forgiving of mine. But when a person tries to force their will wholey upon you and gives you no quarter in return, there is no fair exchange. They become a parasite. They suck the life out of you.
Likewise I think it's healthy to only give a limited amount of yourself to people... forgive them of their flaws so long as they are also proactively trying to grow and improove. But don't let them use you up. If they are stagnant, they can hold you back. When a person becomes dependant and you become their enabler, the kindest thing to do is distance yourself and force them to cope. In my experience, it doesn't have to be permanent... just a matter politely distanceing one's self from the needy person long enough that they can learn to swim on their own, you know?
So far these philosophies have made dealing with people a little less draining for me.
<br>The sad truth is, this world is filled with dysfunctional people. The hard part is admitting that I are one of them. And I am just one of the many. Our planet, society, even our government is rampant with codependency and enabling behavior.
For me, it is hard work to try and change so that I no longer attract or are attracted to people who aren't good for me. Seeing my part in this can be difficult and painful. The advantage is, I am now being proactive and working towards improvement.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
[/quote]
Good advice and very true.
My rule of thumb is to give the benifit of a doubt at first, and to be forgiving of other's shortcomeings so long as they are forgiving of mine. But when a person tries to force their will wholey upon you and gives you no quarter in return, there is no fair exchange. They become a parasite. They suck the life out of you.
Likewise I think it's healthy to only give a limited amount of yourself to people... forgive them of their flaws so long as they are also proactively trying to grow and improove. But don't let them use you up. If they are stagnant, they can hold you back. When a person becomes dependant and you become their enabler, the kindest thing to do is distance yourself and force them to cope. In my experience, it doesn't have to be permanent... just a matter politely distanceing one's self from the needy person long enough that they can learn to swim on their own, you know?
So far these philosophies have made dealing with people a little less draining for me.
- EccentricSage
- Switchin' to Glide
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- Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2009 6:49 pm
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by MARV » Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:54 am
[quote][i]Originally posted by EccentricSage[/i]
<br>Yeah, I've had a childhood frienship where my best friend and I could get along great untill the 'cool girls' would give her a chance to betray me to proove she's like them. After two bouts of her trying to use me to look cooler, I broke it off. I was moveing to the suburbs and atending a diferent highschool anyhow. So I intentionaly lost touch. She found me, and then proceeded to act superior again, and treet me like a fool, so I distanced myself from her again. Finaly, recently, she found me AGAIN! LOL! But she lives pretty far away and she seems to have finaly matured a bit and treeted me with respect, so I talk to her on ocasion.
The other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum. A part of me misses the place teribly, but I just can't stand the drama of deluded self absorbed occultists who befriend you and are so cool, but then go on an ego trip thinking they're in on all the secrets of the universe and have soooooo much power in their hands. Honestly... I think there was a total of five guys and one girl who've caused me drama in that circle.
Look, I have some advice for you guys. When someone is yanking you around and disrespecting you, you have to TEST THEM. Put your foot down, point out their hypocracy kindly, demand respect firmly but politely. If they freek out, let them... keep it going... stand your ground but be the 'bigger man/woman' about it. If they don't calm the fuck down and realise what they're doing, then just cut ties with them as quickly and cleanly as posible. If they come crawling back begging for a second chance, give them only one, and keep them at arms length... put up an emotional barrier between you and them. Don't let them get inside your head or tug at your heart. Then make them prove to you that they won't react that way anymore.
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's rediculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treet you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feal so compelled, and work to change it.
[/quote]
Yup. Welcome to the forums, Sage.
<a href="http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y271/marvymarv/?action=view¤t=tick.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y271/marvymarv/tick.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
<br>Yeah, I've had a childhood frienship where my best friend and I could get along great untill the 'cool girls' would give her a chance to betray me to proove she's like them. After two bouts of her trying to use me to look cooler, I broke it off. I was moveing to the suburbs and atending a diferent highschool anyhow. So I intentionaly lost touch. She found me, and then proceeded to act superior again, and treet me like a fool, so I distanced myself from her again. Finaly, recently, she found me AGAIN! LOL! But she lives pretty far away and she seems to have finaly matured a bit and treeted me with respect, so I talk to her on ocasion.
The other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum. A part of me misses the place teribly, but I just can't stand the drama of deluded self absorbed occultists who befriend you and are so cool, but then go on an ego trip thinking they're in on all the secrets of the universe and have soooooo much power in their hands. Honestly... I think there was a total of five guys and one girl who've caused me drama in that circle.
Look, I have some advice for you guys. When someone is yanking you around and disrespecting you, you have to TEST THEM. Put your foot down, point out their hypocracy kindly, demand respect firmly but politely. If they freek out, let them... keep it going... stand your ground but be the 'bigger man/woman' about it. If they don't calm the fuck down and realise what they're doing, then just cut ties with them as quickly and cleanly as posible. If they come crawling back begging for a second chance, give them only one, and keep them at arms length... put up an emotional barrier between you and them. Don't let them get inside your head or tug at your heart. Then make them prove to you that they won't react that way anymore.
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's rediculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treet you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feal so compelled, and work to change it.
[/quote]
Yup. Welcome to the forums, Sage.
<a href="http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y271/marvymarv/?action=view¤t=tick.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y271/marvymarv/tick.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
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by phillyidol » Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:23 am
[quote][i]Originally posted by EccentricSage[/i]
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's ridiculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treat you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feel so compelled, and work to change it.
[/quote]
Good point. Welcome aboard!
Worlds GREATEST Photographer!
Never put up with abusers or users. Weed them out and cut them off. It's ridiculous to stay with someone like that for 25 years. You should evaluate your own mental and emotional health. There's something wrong with you that makes you hang on to people who treat you poorly. You must figure out what it is within your psychology that causes you to feel so compelled, and work to change it.
[/quote]
Good point. Welcome aboard!
Worlds GREATEST Photographer!
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by djcraig » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:12 am
[i]"other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum"[/i]
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
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by Spectre General » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:15 am
I don't have problems like this because I don't have any friends.
-------------------------------------------------
What is love after all
but occasional steps
of a dance.........
.......In a trance?
-------------------------------------------------
What is love after all
but occasional steps
of a dance.........
.......In a trance?
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by EccentricSage » Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:44 pm
[quote][i]Originally posted by djcraig[/i]
<br>[i]"other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum"[/i]
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
[/quote]
I'm not realy ofended, but I don't get the joke. ^^;
(and to everyone who welcomed me to the forum, thank you!
I meant to post an introduction but I'm awful at that.)
______________________________________
I rather like the hurdy gurdy. You can literaly crank your organ.
<br>[i]"other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum"[/i]
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
<a href="http://www.djcraig.net/los_angeles_dj">DJ Craig</a>
[/quote]
I'm not realy ofended, but I don't get the joke. ^^;
(and to everyone who welcomed me to the forum, thank you!
I meant to post an introduction but I'm awful at that.)
______________________________________
I rather like the hurdy gurdy. You can literaly crank your organ.
- EccentricSage
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by Frau_Blucher » Sat Apr 18, 2009 1:26 am
[quote][i]Originally posted by djcraig[/i]
<br>[i]"other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum"[/i]
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
[/quote]
I've summoned strength from the divine spirit not to reply to your sardonic quip.
Nah, I really didn't.
<br>[i]"other toxic relationships were online relationships on an occult forum"[/i]
Now what could go wrong there?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
[/quote]
I've summoned strength from the divine spirit not to reply to your sardonic quip.
Nah, I really didn't.
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